The Journey...

just what I needed

2011-03-13T07:46:00.003-05:00

I got up this morning and was really feeling "down". Things just were getting to me this morning and then... a friend Inboxed me on facebook with this...

The Silver Smith

A Group of women were studying the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three, they came across verse three, which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

That week the woman called up a silver smith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silver smith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver were left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

After reading the last sentence "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it" the thought really sunk in and hit me! The reality is, in hard times, God never leaves. He is our papa! He has a perfect plan and that perfect plan is SEEING HIMSELF IN US! He's making us like him every day and no matter how hot the fire feels... He is right there feeling the heat with us, holding us and never taking his eyes off excitedly waiting for the perfect refinement when He sees His very image in us! Thanks papa for loving me enough to love me and never look away!

oh the fun!

2011-03-12T07:30:00.002-05:00

Last night, I went to my Sister-N-Laws house for a pampered chef party. I used to be a consultant for pampered chef and for some reason, when I get an invitation to a party, I get a momentary lapse of "Oh, I miss doing pampered chef." However, each time I go... that moment becomes more and more fleeting!

It was a lot of fun to get out last night and be with some other adults even if it was just for a couple of hours. However, I think my "fever" for pampered chef has ended. I didn't feel the need to buy the whole catalog. As a matter a fact, I was very well behaved!

It's funny what fazes, even as adults, we go through in life. Things you think you just can't live with out one day get put in perspective and you just realize that they are not as significant as you once thought.

I have to say, I'll probably hold a party again... they are fun and it is a great chance to get together with friends... but I think my "faithfulness" to the product has bid me farewell! :) Shhh!!! It's our secret! :)

~mindy~

Preparations

2011-03-09T10:43:00.002-05:00

We have started getting every thing ready for little Jeremiah! Today, I pulled clothes out of the dryer and was taken back by the size difference in outfits. Even just Joey's clothes laying next to the clothes I washed that belong to Jeremiah. I couldn't help but take a moment and pray that God keeps him right where he needs to be until he's ready. Some times, I get overwhelmed at the thought of how tiny he could be if he comes as early as they are thinking. Regardless, we press on and we are doing every thing we can to have home ready so that when God chooses for him to arrive, it's all here and ready for him! I must say, I am excited to be going through his little piles of clothes and working towards setting things up for him. Baby's are just so exciting! :)

~Mindy~

Taking it all in...

2011-03-06T07:59:00.002-05:00

Friday, we got some really hard news about my body. Mr. Jeremiah is doing well! He was active as can be and heart rate and growth just perfect on the ultrasound, however, my news was not so good on behalf of Jeremiah! If you haven't heard whats going on, you can read the story at our family Caringbridge site.

It's been very hard on me this weekend to process all that the doctor is thinking will likely happen. Jeremiah will likely have to be born very early and I have been a basket case thinking about how tiny and frail he will be. But in my heart, I know there is hope. I was talking to my mom with many tears just saying I was scared but I am holding onto the promises that God has given us and just recently gave us with the scripture of Jeremiah 29:11. So, that set my mom's mind to working! She got an email from a friend with a brazillion saying that says "It's enough to trust" and then with hearing what I had to say about the scripture of Jeremiah 29:11 (written at the top of my blog), she created this....

This is a little purple heart that has the scripture on it on a little safety pin. She made these for us to wear to remember that God has tiny little Jeremiah and his mommy safe in his hand! God is faithful and no matter what comes with all of this, his hand is on our lives and like mom's friend said... It is enough to trust!

I love grilling!!!

2011-03-02T17:03:00.001-05:00

Jeff went and got propaine for the grill today!!! I'm so excited! We are having sliced taters & onions on the grill with chicken! Yay! I have to say, my favorite time of the year is pulling the grill out! Nothing tastes better than GRILLED food! :)

Ok... that's all I had to say! Ha!

~Mindy~

Please join me...

2011-02-27T06:56:00.002-05:00

Please join me in praying for the Agnew family today. Their sweet Maggie lost her fight last night at 8:40 to mitochondrial disease. My heart aches for them as I can only imagine what they are feeling...

Many do not understand why we are doing this walk in April or this benefit dinner in March. Sadly, many dont even understand what mitochondrial disease is. So many kiddos look so good but deep inside this "Invisible" disease is robbing them of their life... so, THIS is why. It isn't just about us or raising money for something WE are passionate about... it's about fighting a disease that takes away too many lives to early! I want to do something. I want to stand in the gap and fight with and FOR these families who have already lost some one they love so dearly! Then, I want to fight for something to stop it... something to find a way to save some lives and stop this awful disease.

I know God has ultimate purpose and all of our days are numbered! I know that in my heart. But I also know that he has given us the ability to do things as well. To pray, to help, to support, to love these families. It isn't about what we can do on our own strength, it's about learning, understanding and standing together to work towards finding answers! So, join me, if you would! Walk with us April 30th and donate to help raise money for research! Or join our dinner on March 19th and donate there.not a dime of this is going to us... every single penny is going to research. We aren't even taking money out to cover our expensese... So, you can come and know that every penny is for the cause! We are going to talk about what mito really is and we are going to share our story. So today, for sweet Maggie, I wanna fight!

Jesus, hold this sweet baby girl close! Love on her and hold her family so close right now! May they feel your comfort and your peace! Amen!

memory lane..

2011-02-25T11:41:00.003-05:00

Today, I have been spending a lot of time looking through old pictures, old caring bridge posts and it has brought many emotions... tears... joys... questions... hurt... good memories.. hard memories... One thing it has reminded me of are the people who have stuck by us. Some times, the road of life feels too much... then there is that one person who gives you a hug and suddenly you have strength for a few more days. Or there is that one email that says "Hey, praying for you today." and makes you realize you aren't alone. The one text asking "How can I help" and you realize there are people there ready to catch ya when you just can't put the next foot forward.

The road of life isn't always easy... but the memories we hold... the smiles our kids bring... the laughter we have with family... the moments that we have gotten to minister to people together... the times we have seen lives changed because of the place God had us that day... makes every memory worth it... every day we live worth it... every moment me walk with God... PRECIOUS! One thing unfailing in every thing I looked at today... God's hand was and is there always and forever! Thanks Papa! You are the amazing strength in our life!

Benefit dinner...

2011-02-25T07:55:00.003-05:00

I am so excited to say that on March 19th, we are having a benefit dinner not for our family or to personally help us in anyway, but to raise money for a great cause! The reason we are doing this is to raise money for the "Energy for Life Walkathon" that we are doing in support of mitochondrial disease research! During this dinner, we'll share about the walk, but also, we are going to share about what mitochondrial disease is and how it affects are kids and so many others. I'm very excited about the opportunity to have friends come together in support of raising awareness and funds towards research. We have grieved with too many families for the loss of their little ones and even today, we are praying hard that God would make away for some who are fighting the end of their journey with mito. We know so many who are affected, adults and children as well! So, please join us! We are using our church as a facility to make this dinner happen, however, it's being done and provided by our family and donations of some friends and those in our community! At this point, we have already had Ham, Green beans and desserts donated! If you are interested in helping, please let me know! mommypfohl@gmail.com The dinner is Saturday March 19th at 6:o0 p.m. Please RSVP if you attending! It will be a great evening of fellowship and supporting a great cause to help make a difference in the lives of so many!!

A time for every thing....

2011-02-22T08:08:00.002-05:00

In Ecclesiastes 3 it says "There is a time for every thing, and a season for every activity under heaven: (vs 4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,"

The last six months have brought on so much for us that this particular scripture has never been so real. When Abby fell sick in October and her little body couldn't fight, we were mourning... We knew the devastation this could bring yet we had hope for what God could do. It hurt to watch her go through this. Abby has always been healthier, stronger, and bounces back quicker... but this time she didn't. She was weaker, sicker and fighting harder than we have ever watched her fight.

She bounced back slowly but still isn't herself 100%. They began treating her for mitochondrial disease adding in the supplements that would help her fight at a cellular level... it's working. We rejoice that it's working but our hearts were crushed at the same time! Why mito and why our babies?

Joey has had issues off and on over the last six months... the treatment for mito is helping. This week, the bomb drops. Joey had a seizure followed by an EEG that told us he was truly a mess. Ever heard the saying "The straw that broke the camels back?"

Yep. That was us this week. I have been overwhelmed by the dark reality of what our kids face. Looking into mito again and realizing, there is no cure that takes it away, nothing that ever truly stops it and here we are... facing a disease that only ends in taking your life....

I let this take me by force this week. I've been scared, angry, depressed, hurting, fearful... this morning, I was awake AGAIN with all these things running through my mind. The thought of "What will I do when I lose one of them" running through my mind. I was watching videos on YouTube hoping to find some solace of comfort and hoping to find something that I could use in our benefit dinner that would help people understand this invisible disease... and one video began with "My son has mito, mito doesn't have him".

I sat there with it paused looking at that phrase... and then I remembered there are seasons... there are times for every thing. This week was my season to mourn, my season to weep because it hurts. But when that season stays... whatever we are facing has a choke hold on our lives! My babies may never ever face losing their life from this disease... it could be a car accident, it could be a natural disaster... it could be anything! They could live to be 100 because that's what God decided for them... The reality is... God knows our days... He knows what our lives were intended for and we can not let the things that hurt us control us. We have to live and live for him. So, I dried my eyes this morning and I have hope in knowing, our family has mito but mito doesn't have us and we will live for HIS glory and we will laugh and dance knowing that every thing we are and every thing we do are for Him and Him alone!

With this in mind... we are also wanting to do all we can to help and to fight. We will be walking in the "Energy for Life" walkathon April 30th to raise awareness of mito and to raise funds for research of how to slow and even stop this ugly disease! We would like you on our team! please go to www.energyforlifewalk.org/indiana and donate to or join team Pfohl of Hope. Also, March 19Th, we are having a benefit dinner at Farmland Friends Church to raise money to support our team, Pfohl of Hope. All proceeds from this dinner will go towards that walk as research money. If you are interested in coming or you are interested in helping in some way with this dinner, please email me mommypfohl@gmail.com God is our hope, yesterday, today and FOREVER!

~Mindy~

Coconuts!!!

2011-02-20T08:29:00.003-05:00

OK... blogger wont let me move these pictures around... so you will be enjoying them in random order... ha!

The kids have been curious about coconuts ever since daddy went to Jamaica. We were at Meijers yesterday and found some in the fresh produce, so we picked one up to bring home for the kids to taste and explore. Joey wanted to use Jeff's big Machete he got in Jamaica to open the coconuts but daddy opted for a hammer! :)

Joey touching the coconut
Sis was absolutely fascinated by the inside!

We are in!!! (not with out challenge!)

Tapping for the milk....

Both kids had a look of "Seriously??" as daddy emptied to coconut! Maybe one day, we can all go to Jamaica as a family and watch the pro's do it! :)

Some get away time...

2011-02-19T07:30:00.003-05:00

We had to be in Indy so early on Friday, that we stayed at the Marten house by St. V. They have patient rates so help with folks out of town. So, we decided to stay and enjoy some family time and SLEEP so we didn't have to get up at 4 a.m. to be there!

The kids were ecstatic! they have a pool at the marten house so, they are suited up and ready! :)
Little stinkers sharing a bed. totally cracked me up. Joey was constantly touching his sister his his sleep. At one point, he got so close to her that she literally climbed over him to take his side of the bed. She was so irritated with him!

Even thought it was brief, it sure felt nice to have some fun at the close of this week together! We enjoyed our evening. :)

~Mindy~

Farewell week!

2011-02-18T17:48:00.002-05:00

I'm So so very thrilled to say goodbye to this week! Wow! It's just been so long! It's amazing to me how you can fit so many things in one week that are so happy and yet so sad! But, we sure did it this week! I will hang onto the happy and give God the sad! That's for sure!!!

The kids had appointments today to meet their GI doctor. She is just a fabulous lady and got us on a good game plan for the kiddos! She is going to do a scope on Joey in March because on exam and looking at his health history, she just wants to check into things. So, other than that, today went off wth out too big of a change in plans!

This weekend, we plan to relax and enjoy some family time! Thank you God for that! :) Hope every one has a great weekend with their families!

~Mindy~

Hard times...

2011-02-17T10:05:00.004-05:00

Joey's EEG

Ready for sleepies....
All hooked up! He said "Hey, I'm plugged into a remote!" cracked himself up!

I tell you, this week has been so hard on us emotionally. The kids have had a lot of medical set backs this winter with all the flu and viral infections. Looking at them, they do look great, but things in their bodies have not been holding up so well.

Monday, we saw one of our doctors and coming home, Joey fell asleep. As he was waking from his nap, he stiffened and was shaking. I stood there trying to call his name and wanting him to answer. My heart sank as I realized that he was having a seizure. It's been 2 years since we have seen a true seizure in him and I felt my heart shatter within me. I thought these were gone and I stood here looking at the reality in front of me and I wanted more than anything to rewind time and have a delete button moment for that 60 seconds that I watched my baby suffer...

I called Neurology and they got us in on an immediate opening to do an EEG. Joey has had normal EEG's in the past. This time, the tech left the room and returned with our neurologist. She asked to speak alone with me. Joey's EEG was a mess. He was having spikes over and over and clearly showing seizure activity. She confirmed that Joey is having 3 forms of seizures. The stiffening (Which is what we saw Monday) Micholonic seizures which is where you jerk (Very short seizures) and absence seizures (This is where you zone out for 20 or 30 seconds and then go right back to what you are doing).

Joey has been weaker lately, more tired and his behaviors have been VERY hard to control. She said that this is ALL being caused by these seizures. So, we are starting the process of putting him on the seizure medications.

I am so grateful for the reminder of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future!" Thank you God for these promises! Thank you for faithfulness and thank you that you are here in the midst of scary moments and hard news!

We have hope...

2011-02-15T07:34:00.003-05:00

Some times, I look at life around me. The bad things in life seem over whelming some times; health issues, issues we face in our lives where we might live or work, the things you see on the news, the list could go on of "negative" or things that even feel destructive... right now, I have been sitting here pleading with God for hope... some thing to make me realize that life isn't all hard knocks and there is purpose for our struggles...

I was reading in Jeremiah, oddly, this is one of my favorite books in the Bible. I love Jeremiah's story and how he was used by God to speak. The promise God gave him in the beginning of how He knew his life before he began... We often quote Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, Declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

As I read this, I said in my heart "Lord, I know this... I have read this verse... held onto it. Why this morning? Why do I see this? Read this? It isn't new to me..." He asked me to back up and read again... so I did....

Vs. 10 Says "this is what the Lord says: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place." then it says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

It hit me this morning... God really did NEVER promise not to let us go through the hard times. He never promised us that we would not face hard times. He did promise us however a hope and a future. What is your Babylon? What is it you are in right now? Some times, our struggles are short, but sometimes, like Babylon, they feel like they are a life time (70 years) and we wrestle. Is our response right? Do we get angry? Do we fight and wrestle and try to thwart what is going on around us?

What should our response be? We should trust, we should know that God's plans for us are set in His hand and in the end, when it is all said and done... we will have a hope and a future. he will prosper us and he didn't set this here to harm us...

whether it be sickness, financial hardships, break ups and challenges in life... God didn't intend it to harm you but to prosper you and to give you a hope and a future... it really is about our response in this that we find that to come to truth... trusting He has a plan and trusting that in the end... He IS there to take it and to carry you!

Longing....

2011-02-13T07:50:00.002-05:00

I was looking through my pictures this morning, and I came across the pictures from my Nephew's birthday party... they made me LONG for summer! I miss warm days, hot sunshine, and playing in the water! So, I'm looking forward to bidding this winter good bye (For lots and lots of reasons!) and saying hello to the warmth and spring/summer fun! :)

I'm so very blessed!

2011-02-06T08:50:00.002-05:00

I think my title of this says it all... I'm so very blessed! Thank you God for my kids!

Energy for life...

2011-02-04T12:17:00.001-05:00

We are going to be walking as a family team in the energy for life walkathon. This walk is to help raise funds for research and support of families affected by Mitochondrial disease. Both of our children are affected. We would like you to join us! You can give donations to the link below, you can walk with us that day or you can simply commit to pray. Please take time to check this out and pray about it! We would love to have you join us in some form or another!

The "Pfohl of Hope" team has been established. Here is what you do!

go to www.energyforlifewalk.org/indiana

Scroll down and you will see a box that says "Find a team" you can click on "Pfohl of hope" and you may then go there to register to walk with us or donate to the team.

If you would like to JUST make a donation. Go to the box that says "Find a walker" Jeffrey Pfohl is the team captain. you may click on his name and make a financial donation there!

The walk is April 30th. Walkers begin registration at 10 a.m. and the walk starts at noon. There is a picnic afterwards to hang out together if you desire to stay!

The place:

Outside IUPUI Taylor Hall Lawn

815 W. Michigan St.
Indianapolis, IN 46202

Thanks for standing or walking :) with our family!

~mindy

Sunday morning sing

2011-02-02T10:21:00.002-05:00

Singing proud in church! (joey was really REALLY shouting out his song! ha ha!)

Getting ready!
Lining up in the hallway. All were getting anxious!

Waiting on service to be ready for them to enter...

All dressed up... hair done... ready for church!!!

My pictures loaded backwards and the blog editing wasn't cooperating with me rearranging them... so, hope you enjoyed the reverse show. Ha! :)

The ice is coming! The ice is coming!!!

2011-02-01T20:55:00.002-05:00

Tonight, I told the kids they could put their boots on and step outside the back door to feel the sleet coming down. They were curious what it felt like.

When I told Joey to get ready, he dug out his boots and his spider man umbrella!
Sis had to help him open the umbrella! He just couldn't figure it out!

This is ALL sleet covering the sand box. Isn't that crazy? You can see the sleet in the picture still coming down.

Buddy isn't a big fan of the sleet! He wanted back in and back in NOW!! Poor guy. He just would rather NOT go potty right now.

It's Insane listening to the wind blow. You can feel the wind through our front door. Jeff had to go out to take down the wind chime. It was crashing against the front window. Man, I sure will be glad when this winter has come to an end and spring is here!

~mindy~

Just too cute!

2011-01-30T22:08:00.002-05:00

Tonight, we were doing our bedtime devotions with the kids. We started over in our children's through the Bible book. So, we were in Genesis talking about the first 6 days of creation. As we talked, sister kept noticing in the pictures that Adam and Eve were WITH the animals. Jeff explained to her before the "fall" of man, the world was perfect. It wasn't until after Eve took the first bite and Adam did as well that the imperfections, the sin and the bad things came into the world.

So, Joey is processing this and they are talking about how when we are in Heaven, things will be perfect again. Suddenly, Joey bursts out in laughter. In the midst of his giggling he enlightens us on his humorous thoughts!

He says "well, when I get to heaven, Bubble gum is going to be nice to me!" And again... bursts into laughter almost to where he couldn't breathe from being so cracked up! We all sat laughing more at his own reaction to his joke than we were laughing at his actual thought. He is so silly!

Now we all ponder and wonder... what has bubble gum ever done to Joey?

I love mornings!

2011-01-30T07:49:00.002-05:00

Mornings are my favorite time! Not because I LIKE waking up early but because my kids are ALWAYS the most snugly! I love sitting and holding them and the hugs and kisses I get! :) Those moments make me so happy!

I then stop and think about Papa (God). As our papa, how much does he desire for us to curl up on his lap? So, take some time today and love and snuggle your papa before you start your morning! I bet it will change your day!!!

Getting so big!

2011-01-28T21:04:00.002-05:00

Well, we are happy to say, sister is an official reader! She has been reading some here and there but the last two days, she has really been busting out those words and trying hard! I'm so proud! I have to say, it's bitter sweet! I don't want them to ever grow up but watching mile stones hit are amazingly proud mommy moments!

Healthy zone!

2011-01-27T21:25:00.004-05:00

I have been really talking to the kids about nutrition, the important things to eat, not over indulging in junk food and I was so cracked up tonight!

We went to Wal-Mart for groceries. I told them they could each pick a snack. So, Abby picks her favorite of the Cheddar & sour cream Pringles. Joey picks the yellow chips (lays, original).

So, they both want their snack in the van. As I am opening them, I realize I don't have snack bowls. So, I remind them that eating things within reason isn't always bad. So, they can have the package but need to NOT sit there and eat the whole bag/can on the way home.

So, as Jeff is putting the rest of the groceries in the back of the van, I hear both kids counting. Abby counts to JUST two and says "That's all I am eating mommy!" Joey doesn't stop till four and says "Mommy, is four Helpy (healthy) food?" I chuckle to myself thinking "Well haven't we developed some extremists" However, I smiled and said "That is a good amount but I don't think a few more for either of you would hurt too much!"

Cracks me up when kids "Get it!" but take it to the extreme! I have to say, they sure make me smile!

God amazes me...

2011-01-26T11:56:00.003-05:00

Some times, I just sit in awe of who God is... I have been really struggling in the last 24 hours. God knows my heart, He knows my struggles and HE knows my needs. Some times, in the midst of a struggle, I want to withdrawal from every thing and every one and just be alone. I even catch myself doing that to God some times, but He reminds me, I can do NOTHING in my own strength. I came to tears today reading Psalm 142. The WHOLE thing is wonderful, however for me today, there were pieces I wanted to share.

"When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way... I cry to you, o Lord; I say, you are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living... Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me."

These are, as I said pieces of this passage. This entire passage is about Crying out to God... in loneliness, brokenness, whatever it is, crying out to Him and being heard even WHEN NO ONE ELSE hears... He is our portion, He is all we need and in the end, those will gather around because of seeing God's goodness.

It's a reminder to me, that when living life, the most important thing is drawing near to God! When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us with great love and people are drawn to that love. It doesn't matter what we face, or what we battle with, God is ENOUGH! He is big enough. He is good enough. He is faithful enough. He is strong enough. and His love is MORE than enough!

Jeremiah...

2011-01-24T08:44:00.003-05:00

I was reading the word this morning and found myself in Jeremiah. I was reading chapter 25 and had moments where I stopped to really think. These scriptures are talking about judgement and God forewarning the people to change, but in their hearts, they refused to listen. The scripture that sticks out in my mind says,

"Turn now every one from his evil way and from the evil of your deeds, and dwell in the land which the Lord has given to you and your forefathers forever and ever; and do not go after other gods to serve them and to worship them, and do not provoke me to anger with the work of your hands, and I will do you no harm."

The "I will do you no harm..." I think some times we as Christians become too passive. We forget how mighty the God we serve is and we think ONLY of his compassion and grace. One thing that has always kept me growing as a Christian is remembering that GOD means business. Yes, he is a God of grace, of love, of compassion, but He also can be turned toward anger. He asks us to change... do we? He asks us to lay down an addiction, or something we enjoy that we know is even maybe only a little wrong in our minds... do we?

It's an amazing realization when you stop and think about it... anything that God asks of you and you do not do... for whatever reason you may have for NOT doing it... you are putting that above God, therefore making and idol of it or worshipping it higher than your respect for God. I'm humbled at this thought as there are areas in my life I strive daily to lay down for Christ. We ALL have them because we are ALL human... but this morning... I sit quiet and I take note that God can be turned to anger at the work of my hands. Whether it be intentional or whether it be something I passively shrug off... God sees and God knows. The grace is there for me or for you to change... no matter how big or small the area is in life... God cares enough to help us change... What's he asking of you? Are you listening? Are you striving for Him? If not, today can begin that change...

Snow fun...

2011-01-14T22:08:00.003-05:00

So excited to be outside!
Daddy made her a snow bed! Yep! She's barried!

Sis "helping" shovel the snow and Joey winging a big snow ball at her head! ha!

Again, "Helping". Her shovel would be full but she would either dump it back on the drive OR she would spill it all trying to teater the weight of the shovel. Cracked me up!

Laughter does us good!

2011-01-13T21:26:00.003-05:00

After the last few days, we needed some good chuckles and we sure got them today. We took the kids out to play in the snow this afternoon. Abby made a path to the neighbors house by rolling! Ha! She's a stinker. Joey had fun just diving into snow drifts and laughing as hard as he could about it!

Jeff... well, he shoveled the drive, however I did notice that all the snow that ONCE WAS on his shovel usually ended up being flung at one of the kids! It was good to watch them play and laugh and have a good time! Those moments, I will Cherish forever and ALWAYS!!!

I'll post pictures soon! :)

Some days...

2011-01-12T21:20:00.002-05:00

Some days are easier than others... but right now.... God is surrounding me and I have so much peace. we have so many things changing or in transition for us... my chain should be rattled! It's amazing to me how God directs your steps!

We have been in the midst of changing our care to closer to home for the kids. In changing, it comes that breath holding moment of wondering how its going to go, will we like the doctors, will they understand every thing... we sat with our family doctor awhile back and told him the writing on the walls with our wonderful medicaid was warning us this was coming. He gave us advice and well, we are walking it out now and finding wonderful blessings along the way!

The doctors that we are meeting are not only knowledgable but so great with our kids and our family as a whole! We are so thankful for the transition to be going so well.

In doing all this, they have given the kids the "clinical" diagnosis of mitochondrial disease. This is hard for us as parents to accept. But their concern is the drastic ups and downs that come in their health. some times, the changes are daily and some times the changes happen over periods of time. This is a diagnosis that as been on them, off them, on them... off them... But Cinci doctors were coming to the place of "Treating them as mito patients" because that is what they were typical of in their medical behavior. In talking with our nuerologist, she sat us down and we went over symptoms, treatments, reactions with a fine tooth comb. She explained mysteries to us... things we thought were just us being nervous were considered autonomic defficiencies. Things we thought were something were just things that "happen." It felt good to have some one take time and help us know what to worry about and what not to worry about!

She has stated that she is agressive in treating but that she's approachable. If something does NOT work, we trash it, if it works for one kid and not the other... we work with that. It's so GREAT they aren't putting the kids in these boxes and saying "Here's what you do" because our kids have simlarities in their symptoms but are also on total opposite ends of the spectrum in many ways. Which is another typical issue of mito.

So, this is the journey and where we are. we are putting ourselves out there and trusting God. If you are interested in understanding what the kids issues are, you can visit www.mitoaction.org this is a wonderful site to explain really what our kids go through. Some days are great, some not so great and some just in between!

Deeper thoughts...

2011-01-02T08:20:00.003-05:00

Some times my thoughts get away from me and I feel like I am swimming in them. This morning has not been far from that. Questions of why are we where God has us? Why are my kids suffering with this muscle disease? Will it go away? Will they find a cure? Will God touch them? Why do they have to be so tired? What will be with this baby.... the thoughts just go on and on...

I struggle some days to remember the hope that Christ has promised us and I sink into the feeling of despair because I want to take this away from them. I want to understand our lives and the path we are on... but the reality is, it isn't for me to understand. It is for me to trust God and to know that He is able to care for us, able to carry us in the storms, able to teach us to smile on bad days... God is enough. I don't need answers because he is my answer.

This morning, I was reading my Bible and I came to Psalms 139. I stopped in a moment of reflection and aw. The first thing I read was this:

Psalms 139:4 "Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, Thou dost know it all."

Every thought that enters my mind... He knows it before I speak it. All the hurts, the joys, the angers, the celebrations... they don't pass through with out His knowledge! He knows well and He knows them even just as a thought. I was humbled that my God would pay close enough attention to know them before they even form to a word in my mouth! then... I read:

Psalms 139:5 "Thou has enclosed me behind and before, And laid Thy hand upon me."

In these thoughts and moments I struggle... when I'm unable to say what's bothering me... GOD IS THERE and has SURROUNDED me with HIS VERY OWN hand upon me! I sat in tears as I took that in this morning! To think that in my lonely moments, God is really all around me. He knows every thought that passes through this frail mind and HE LOVES ME ENOUGH to be with me.

Papa, thanks for being the God you are. Full of mercy and tenderness! Full of compassion when life feels it is too much! Thanks for loving me enough to surround me and place your hand on me! With out you, I am nothing! With out you, I have nothing! You are my only hope and you hold yesterday, today and tomorrow in the same hand that is holding me! What a great big papa you are to guard me in and keep me as your own! I love you!

Love,
your little girl

Resolutions made for me....

2011-01-01T09:29:00.004-05:00

Most make their new years resolutions themselves... Mine was made for me this year. While at the doctor yesterday, I found out I have diabetes and have to start checking my blood sugars and watching what I eat now. I go Wednesday for my diabetes education. So, I started my new years day measuring food and beginning to think about all the nutritional stuff that goes into this. Have to say... I'm a bit stressed! Whew!

I am thankful though that I have to do this for Baby... I struggle to do things for myself out of just trying to take time for every one else... but now I can focus on this and get it under my belt and hopefully, once baby is born, it will be 2nd nature and I can continue on it simply to improve my own health. So... One day at a time... here we go! Lord give me strength!

In honor of bubby!

2010-12-31T21:43:00.001-05:00

Joey is really into the SHS (Super hero squad) right now! So for bubby... HERO UP! happy new year every one! Be safe! Look to God as your hope and B+ (be positive) every day! There is more to life than what you face or walk through! :)

~Mindy~

Hard day...

2010-12-29T22:19:00.002-05:00

Today, We lost a friend who has taught us so much. Her name is Rina. Rina had a hard battle, especially here lately with her walk with Mitochondrial Disease. If you don't know what Mitochondrial Disease is... the mitochondria are your bodies power houses. When they mitochondria go out... your power goes out. Rina faced every day with a positive attitude. She is precious in spirit! Her loss will be felt greatly! I know that Rina is no longer suffering and she gets to run with energy she has never had... but she will be missed here.

This day has stirred so many emotions. Some really good ones and some that make you just sit and cry. Looking at my own children, they are treating them as though they have mitochondrial disease because that is what their bodies are portraying. This is a very HARD disease to diagnose some times. When I look at Rina's life, I think "Gee, when I grow up, I want to be just like her!" I want to find something to smile about in every circumstance. I want to find joys and bring light to the room of people around me. Rina had one thing under her belt... Her quote on her Caring bridge page is this "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Today is a present. No matter what yesterday held... no need to worry about the mystery of tomorrow... but to focus on today... it's a gift that God has given us. In keeping with Rina's desire... Remember B+ (be positive)

Be blessed my friend as you dance with the angels tonight! We love you!

~mindy

A Cure for Mito

2010-12-28T10:22:00.000-05:00

Our Children have not been specifically diagnosed. They have found they have a nueromuscular disease and they are treated as tho it is Mitochondrial Disease. This video (if you get this post by email, you will need to go to the blog to view the video. It will not open in your email.) will give you a glimpse of what we walk through each day and the concerns that we have. Like many of these kids in the video, they look normal. Beautiful faces and beautiful children, but what happens inside their bodies is another story. Much like one mom said "When she's having a good day, we are having a good day!" It's hard some times to accept the reality of what life holds. It's hard to know that we dont know what tomorrow holds. But its beautiful and wonderful to know that we know that this moment holds that we have two amazingly awesome children who we love more than we ever thought you could love some one! Please pray that whether we have mito or we dont, they find a cure because we have many who we love that are fighting this awful disease and many we have lost because of it!

~mindy

Relationships to change...

2010-12-21T12:51:00.002-05:00

Tonight is our free community dinner. In doing this outreach, comes many frustrations but also many more joys that make us keep moving forward! I am excited as we have started this ministry, there are so many people that we have started to build relationships with and we are seeing these folks grow and change every day. It may be small changes and some times the changes go unnoticed, but God sees those changes and counts them victories!!!

I personally have had an opportunity to build a relationship with one of the ladies who come. In this time, I have gotten to love on her, have laughs with her and now, She has decided she wants a job where she can help her community. So, I am getting to help her in that direction. Its these changes that matter! She is striving to better herself and in the midst, she wants to give back to the community! It just amazes me what God does.

Maybe there are folks in your life that are in need. If you can find it in your heart just to show them the love of Christ, God will do the rest! He's faithful to work in their hearts! It doesn't take preaching, it doesn't take beating them with the Word... it takes love and patience. Thank you God for letting me be a part of this ministry! Thank you for allowing me to see folks grow.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-20T17:18:00.002-05:00

Got to love snoopy! :)

I know! This is a profound entry and you just can't get over my wonderful insight to life! :) LOL! Oh well, I love snoopy and I couldn't resist!!!!!

Some times...

2010-12-19T08:05:00.003-05:00

Some times when life gets stinky... you just need to put those things in front of you that remind you to smile and that you have an awesome GOD! So... here are the things that make me smile the most and the biggest reason I know I have an awesome God....

cracks me up....

2010-12-15T08:09:00.002-05:00

We took the kids into town last evening to get their Christmas presents for each other. Joey was cracking me up. I worked with him and Daddy took sister. Sis thought this would be a good idea cause she thought that we would each know best what the other wanted. So... off we went. I stopped to talk with Joey about what he would like to get sister. He says "Well, I think I will buy Abby the stinky garbage truck." I snickered and said "Now, is that what Abby would like, or is that what Joey would like?" He just grinned at me with that cute little grin that states "Yep, I'm being a stinker!"

He continued with bringing up boy toys that sister might want and I continued to remind him... now that would be for Joey! Not Abby!

Needless to say, He made a GREAT pick for sister! I think she will be beside herself when she opens her gifts and bub is going to love what sister got! As much as shopping cracked me up, it made me proud how much my kids love each other and how excited they are to bless each other. Neither threw a fit to get something for themselves but instead they can't wait until Christmas to give a gift to each other! I love my stinkers so much!

More than I can fathom...

2010-12-14T11:45:00.002-05:00

Whelp, Last Thursday (12/9) we went in for our intake with the nurse at the Perinatal Center. They couldn't hear the heart beat of our little one, so they did an ultrasound brief but exciting! Baby Pfohl had a good strong heart beat of 162. Our little one was measuring 10 weeks and they said baby is the size of a grain of rice. The baby was moving. You could see the tiny little arms and tiny little legs.

The next day, Jeff showed the kids what a grain of rice was like. They were in shock. Funny thing, Joey thought Jeff was some how holding the baby and wanted to know where the arms and legs were! Cracked us up!

Its so beyond my ability to even fathom how something so tiny could be so alive and so precious inside of me! To understand that a little life has been placed there...

I have to say I have been very overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. The questions of what will this little life hold... I wait excitedly for the joys but yet find myself holding my breath trying not to fear.... God is so amazing. He's given us two awesome kids! He's held us close to his heart in the heart breaking moments yet given us more joy than we could ever imagine through their lives. I know this baby will be the same no matter the outcome of health. I believe his unfailing love is strong and He will hold us close to His heart no matter what. I am so thankful that God has trusted us with a precious baby that will join this world faster than we can imagine!

So Exciting...

2010-11-20T16:49:00.002-05:00

I can't believe we are now passing the 8 weeks mark. I have to say I have felt every emotion in the book this week. Many have asked us "Aren't you afraid of what this child will be like?" That's a hard question to face. Do we have fears, ABSOLUTELY. Do we have doubts... NOPE! We dont know what this childs life will bring, but we know one thing absolutely for sure, we are so blessed with our other two! Yes, we have had heart aches, we have had fears, but we have no regrets. If we had it to do over and we were told from the very beginning what we would walk through, we would do it again! They aren't a burden and they aren't a hindrance to our life... they are an awesome blessing! They have built our faith, they have improved our character, they have strengthened our faith in God and most of all... They have made us happier than we ever could imagine. Every giggle is worth more than anything and NO I would NOT traid it! I'm so thankful for my kids! So thankful for the blessings of knowing they are mine. So, I am excited we are having another and no matter whats to come in the days ahead, God has it all planned out and we will face it with joy and celebration!

Baby on Board...

2010-11-13T20:22:00.001-05:00

Well, I can't believe that we are on a new Journey in life. Yep! A baby is on its way! Undeniable! Wow. We have been praying and hoping we could have another. But we weren't sure. I have to say, I had decided in my mind we were not... and now we are! Hurray!!!! I will post pictures and updates as we go along!!! :)

Halloween turmoil....

2010-10-29T19:38:00.003-05:00

We were in the van driving home one day as a family. I said to Jeff, "I just dont know about Halloween and dressing up and being a part. Knowing the real meaning of halloween (or hallows eve or the day of the dead), I struggle with whether it is right or wrong." Sister was listening in and I tell you, out of the mouth of babes! She looks up and says "Well, mommy, Jesus wouldn't want us to participate. If there is anything bad in it, then the whole thing is bad and we shouldnt!" man, Did that hit me hard! What a Christ like answer for a little girl.

I still battled though in my heart because Joey wanted to be a part. Tonight, hard questions were asked... why is halloween bad? why should we not make jackolanterns? What's wrong with trick-or-treating? I did my research... I went to.... http://www.jeremiahproject.com/culture/halloween.html I STRONGLY urge you to read this entire article! STRONGLY!

Here is a snip from a very LONG article...

"Should Christians adopt such practices?
Can we borrow pagan customs and superstitions of ancient peoples and "Christianize" them?

As believers, we are called to "Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. [1 Thesalonians 5:21-22] Who can deny that virtually all of the symbols of Halloween are evil? Witches, monsters, ogres, vampires, ghosts, ghouls, goblins, devils and demons all portray evil. Christians are to "... have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." [Ephesians 5:11]

Is Halloween just another innocent holiday that doesn't harm anyone? Is it really just childish fun? Vandalism and wanton disregard for the property of others is common on Halloween night. Even normally well-behaved children are driven by unseen forces to destructive behavior. Police officials everywhere report a great increase in such activities on Halloween. Worse yet are the horrifying accounts of poisoned candy and fruits booby-trapped with razor blades and needles. Such threats are so real that many hospitals offer free X-rays of Halloween treats in order to prevent children from being harmed. Who but Satan could inspire such monstrous actions?

Should the church be compromised by accommodating itself to the culture?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." [Romans 12:2]

"For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?" [2 Corinthians 6:14, 15]

When America and the world celebrates the Festival of Samhain and the powers of darkness by masquerading as evil creatures or decorating our homes, schools, businesses and churches with occult symbols, Satanic power is glorified.

The sort of practices celebrated on Halloween are what defiled the ancient nations [see Leviticus 18:24-30]. The Israelites were warned against such practices when they entered the Promised Land, "When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations." [Deuteronomy 18:9]

Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God. The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination. But as for you, the LORD your God has not permitted you to do so. [Deuteronomy 18:10-14]

As an alternative to the celebration of evil and death, Christians should rather do what Christians are supposed to do every day and that is shine the light of Jesus Christ. We should emphasize the Christian influences and strive to make Hallow's Eve a celebration of the acts of God through his people the saints. We should make it a day when acts of charity instead of vandalism and hatred abound. A day that emphasizes the light of Christ instead of the darkness of evil. A day when people meditate on the acts of Godly people instead of ghosts and goblins.

While you may have participated "all in fun," be assured, Halloween is serious business for Satanists and witches. Those who oppose Christ are known to organize on Halloween to observe satanic rituals, to cast spells, to oppose churches and families, to perform sacrilegious acts, and to even offer blood sacrifices to Satan. While some may say, "But we only do this in fun...we don't practice witchcraft," those things that represent Satan and his domain cannot be handled or emulated "for fun". Such participation places you in enemy and forbidden territory and that is dangerous ground.

Tom Sanguinet, former high priest in the Celtic tradition of Wicca (witchcraft) said "The modern holiday we call Halloween has its origins in the full moon closest to November 1, the witches’ New Year. It was a time when the "spirits" (demons) were supposed to be at their peak power and revisiting the earth planet." He went on to say, "Halloween is purely and absolutely evil, and there is nothing we ever have or will do that would make it acceptable to the Lord Jesus." [The Dark Side Of Halloween]

As evil prevails, Americans have embraced an evil day of Satan, with the pranks of 'would be' hoodlums, combined with 'demon faces' on pumpkins, clothing of 'death' being worn, and calling it fun. When Christians participate in Halloween, it sends a message to children that witchcraft, demonism, Satanism, and the occult are something fun, entertaining and harmless.

Many years ago, C.S. Lewis wrote that one of Satan's most deceptive tactics is to convince people that he doesn't exist. Apparently he has done a good job in his deception. Sadly, many people think of the devil as no more than a symbol of evil: like Santa Claus, he is just a fictional symbol. Many people today also do not think of witches as real people who practice magic, but simply as imaginary figures who represent the supernatural world and everything that is 'spooky.'

Recognizing this pagan holiday gives the false impression that what is actually lethal is innocuous. Some children develop a fascination with the supernatural which leads them later into more sinister occult practices. It's the spiritual equivalent of painting a loaded gun to look like a toy and giving it to child to play with.

It is the kind of celebration that encourages kids like the 16-year-old in Pearl, Mississippi who stabbed his mother to death in her sleep and then opened fire at his high school, killing two students and wounding seven. Authorities found this student along with at least six others involved in a small, avowedly satanic clique that calls itself "Kroth."

How some people can defend this kind of activity as just another innocent holiday that doesn't harm anyone is beyond me.

Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. (John 3:19-20"

when God calls...

2010-10-23T07:23:00.002-05:00

Lately, God has been impressing things on Jeff and I's heart. Its amazing to me how He works, how He askes, how He confirms and then how He walks it out. I've had a lot of doubt in my mind. Wondering, could this be? Do you really want us to do these things? Are we to continue growing things we are doing and adding to what we do... His answer... YES!

Since this bout with sister, she's been down for about 4 weeks now. I asked God again, Do you still want me to be active in ministry? Do you still want me doing the things I do? Have you changed your mind? His answer... He hasn't changed His mind at all and what He spoke... well he's the same yesterday, today and forever!

Something I'm learning right now is that in every life situation God AND His plan remain the same, we just have to learn to work around life circumstances. For me right now, I'm learning to NOT control so much. I'm learning to let go and to let others step in. I'm learning to RELEASE what I think I HAVE to do and allow God to utilize folks around me to continue on.

As I was reading my Bible this morning, this is the verse I found... 1 Corinthians 15:58 "therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know what your labor in the Lord in not in vain."

The verses prior to this are talking about sin and the sting of death, but the truth in it is... there are temptations across the board to let things distract you. No matter what Life's circumstances are, we are called to stand firm and to give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord! God knows what we need to hear. Circumstances by no means change or altor the life God called us to because its still reality... it means that we trust him to manage those circumstances and move forward.

I'm not writing this to toot my own horn, I'm writing this to share what God is showing me right now. Blogging for me is a way of first of all, journaling what God's speaking to me, but second of all, I want to share what God has spoke to me in hopes it will be something that will help some one else! God is awesome and He has all things in His hand and in His perfect time!

When life is rough...

2010-10-22T13:51:00.002-05:00

This last month has been a real yo-yo of emotions for us. Many things have taken place and some times you just stop and ask God why? Then you realize that God purposed every thing for a reason... so asking why is questioning God's divine plan...

Right now, our struggle is finding strength to endure... I'm reminded today of where our hope comes from. Our hope comes from heaven, the maker of heaven and earth, our Creator, our Father... papa is our hope.

I was reading the word today and this is the verse I came across:

Jeremiah 17:5 "This is what the Lord says: 'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord."

As I read this, I'm deeply reminded that we need the body of Christ, but our strength can't come only from those around us but our love for God and our relationship with him. God is our strength and apart from him, we can do NOTHING! In struggling through some of this right now, I'm reminded that when things get tough, we as Christians have to push deeper and work harder on allowing HIM to be our strength.

In doing that, God can shine through our hard times even more. This life isn't meant for me but for HIS glory therefore, may we as a family die to ourselves and allow God to be the strength that drives us, the strength that holds us together and the strength that gets us by and through that, may it be to his Glory in the end result that some how, our lives pointed to Him!

Seems this relationship is layered. We need HIM to be our strength, when we do that, the layer comes down to its him in us that brings glory to his kingdom.

Storing up...

2010-08-20T07:50:00.001-05:00

We are putting up our veggies!

Sister helping pull the blanched green beans out of the ice water bath
Joey pulling the blanched cabbage out of the ice water bath!

Awake...

2010-08-15T05:15:00.002-05:00

I woke up right around 5 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep because my heart wouldn't let me. My heart is heavy, yet filled with so much excitement. We are coming up on our next FREE community dinner. The heaviness comes from the fact that there are so many who don't understand why we do this. The excitement comes from, I just can't wait for it to get here! I tell you, this morning, I have been up searching and praying, "God, why is this dinner so important to you? Why did you ask us to do it?" Well, He answered me... This is why...

Matthew 25:34-40

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

After reading this passage... well, reading it more than once... my heart is more excited. He is passionate about feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothes to those in need. It's His heart. When we do that, We are doing it to Him. I feel at this point I can say, Need I say more? It's a true place of worship to serve him and to love Him when you are giving it away. God, may you find our hearts open! May you be able to say "well done". May we serve you with out one inkling of question... may we give you our all!

45 lb. weight loss marker....

2010-08-07T10:15:00.002-05:00

This is Before.

This is after 45 lbs.This is before

This is after 45 lbs.

Well, I would say there is a diff in these pics! I didn't think I would see it but I guess you can! makes me smile inside! I can't believe I am REALLY doing this!

Faith...

2010-07-21T10:14:00.003-05:00

Lately, God is just really opening my eyes to the church... God's bride, the world wide church, I mean the WHOLE body of Christ... the church of America and surrounding... I've been wrestling with so much asking God why people just can't "see it", why they don't "get it" and why things have to be so hard... Every church comes with issues because every church is run by sinners. Yes, we are the body of Christ, but our sin natures play a part in every thing that we do! It can be destructive in many situations because where there is sin, God can not dwell. Understanding this and realizing the importance of our OWN repentance constantly as Christians, seeking His face, becoming more and more Christ like every day... it's crucial! There is no gray... only black and white before the eyes of God... but we as Christians often live in the gray...

I have so many thoughts running through my mind lately... so many desires... so much longing to just see clearly what God has...

Galations 5:4-6

"You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ;

You have fallen away from grace.

But by faith we eagerly await through the spirit the righteousness for which we hope.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love... Searching after "law" and I'm not talking obeying the law set before you... I'm talking about the "law" that comes from any thing other than scripture... man made beliefs/doctrines... truths stretched to form what MAN believes christianity should look like... it's a stumbling block. There is no book, no law, no anything that can draw you close to God outside of FATH EXPRESSING ITSELF THROUGH LOVE. God is love and when He is in us, love is expressed. My prayer is we as Christians can find ourselves not being justified by "laws" but waitng through the spirit for the righteousness we hope for so that we could have what COUNTS: FAITH EXPRESSING ITSELF THROUGH LOVE. Only when we have what counts will lives around us can be truly changed. Love is a drawing factor for those who are lost... not law.... hurting and broken and lost hearts seek out love...

Arise, shine!

2010-07-15T06:53:00.002-05:00

Today's verse:

Isaiah 60:1-3

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, Darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light,

and kings to the brightness of your dawn"

The opposite of light is darkness. The Darkness that surrounds us is sin. The light within us is Jesus! If we could just put off the "darkness", if we could just soak ourselves in who He is and allow ourselves to be drawn in and changed by the light of HIS glory, the light would shine in us! As HIS children we need to arise with out shame! For our light has come and the glory of the Lord rises upon us!

I hear so often that our churches of America want God to draw near, they want to see Revival! They want to feel him & see Him! But for this to happen, it takes action! We must ARISE! We have to get up! We have to let His light shine. If we want this nation to change, if we want our churches to change, we have to let that light grow in us! For our nation to be changed, it's automatic... "Nations will come to your light..." It is really rather simply put in this scripture, if there is no light, they don't come. Change won't happen. But if your light out shines the darkness, they will come to your light... they will naturally be drawn in!

My heart is so torn by the church of America! I am grieved as I watch sin clutch and darken the light of who God has called us to be. It isn't too late! We are not too far gone! Later in this passage it says "though in anger I struck you, in favor I will show compassion." The Lord's compassion is great! If your life has Darkness in it, even just what you think are areas of small dark places, the light that arises in you is dimmed. We say we are good people, we say we love God, but there are no good people! We are born into sin and only God is good! Only with Him fully dwelling in your life do you become good because then at that point, His light is upon you and shines bright! May we arise, may we put off the dark things and may we take hold of His feet so that his light, the glory of WHO HE IS may rise in us.... "Arise, shine, for your light has come....."

Are you wise?

2010-07-14T20:32:00.002-05:00

Today's verse:

Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears her's down."

Reading this today... as you look on through the chapter, it carries on in talking about "a fools talk brings a rod on his back but lips of the wise protect them." etc. More or less, it's a chapter on what happens when you live good and what happens when you live wrong. In looking at this first verse, After reading this whole chapter, it struck me the power that we have in the direction of lives. If we chose to live honest, pure, loving, forgiving lives... we build our "houses" up. If we chose to live lying, impure, hateful, bitter lives, we are like the foolish woman and we tear our "houses" down with our own hands.

I really stand sobered by this. As an individual, my choices aren't just paid for by ME. My family is affected, my husband, my kids... every action that comes from my hands or my mouth has a cause and affect. It can be positive and uplifting, or it can be negative and destructive. Lord, may I be aware of who I am and what I am doing every single moment so that I MYSELF may build my house up and not tear it down!

We are HIS sheep...

2010-07-13T09:42:00.002-05:00

This morning, I was reading in Ezekiel 34. This whole chapter is just packed full of awesome! However, the verses that stood out to me the most are these:

"vs. 11 For this is what the sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them... vs. 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice."

As I read this, I was absolutely reminded of God's awesomeness. He is almighty. He is the beginning and the End! He is Holy! He is SOVEREIGN! But we are important to a God who is so much bigger than anything we could think up in our little minds! He LOOKS for us. My heart leaps as I read that! My GOD looks for me! And continuing... he searches for the lost and brings back the strays! If you don't already know Him, He is searching for you! His heart beats for you and longs to bring you to His side to care for you! If you knew Him, but you don't follow him, you are lost... or gone astray... He searches for you! How humbling that a God who has the power to destroy us because of our sin searches for us and longs to draw us in! Brokenness is nothing before Him! He will bind up your wounds and heal them with His love and steadfast strength! He becomes your strength in your weakness. I don't know about you, but I'd rather throw this whole world and what it offers away... I'd rather give up every thing I could possibly have and run to Him! No person, no thing, no any thing could amount to the Love that God has for us! He's searching for me and He is searching for you.

I'm reminded that some times it hurts to let go of the things in our lives. We don't always see God's goodness as the treasure that it is... If you haven't experienced that closeness, the intimacy that God offers, you may not understand that letting go of what you have, be it hard or be it easy, will not even hold a light in comparison to who God is. I have touched it! I have touched that presence and I have felt that closeness with God! I stand here today to tell you, it is worth more than you could imagine! If we could all just let go and fall into his searching arms, we'd find more than we could ever dream or ask... A perfect love that will never let us down....

every moment...

2010-07-12T06:47:00.002-05:00

I have really been struggling with things lately. Wrestling with the term "pastor's wife". Every one who knows me knows... I am NOT your typical pastor's wife. I've been struggling with the home schooling and figuring out our schedule for this coming year and a list of MANY other things I could list, but I will spare you and I won't list them all! Now, these struggles aren't to say I don't want to be or do these things, it's to say... I just need to hear God right now and know what I am to be doing.

When I stopped and focused on the things I'm wrestling with, my light bulb came on! I don't always start my day with God, I just try to squeeze him in some where more convenient through the day! I know God's desire is for my first fruits of my time to belong to him. So... I'm committing to that. If it's a busy morning... I will pray and read a couple of verses, if it's a morning I truly have enough time... I will do more!

This morning, I sat down with my Bible and this is what I read: Ecclesiastes 9:16-18 "So I said, "wisdom is better than strength. But the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded. The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good."

I read this, and I felt convicted. I'm usually a very straight forward person in confrontation and I tell you easily what's on my mind. Currently, there is something that is really bothering me. It angers me and I want to dive in and address it... but God told us WAIT. Wait? Why would I wait? Why would I keep silent? Some times, wisdom is silent. Wisdom waits until it is time to speak and then it speaks in love.

I think so many times, we get caught up in what we want and much like this verse says "The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools." Shouting isn't what brings God glory. Words of anger change nothing... it's sinning when you reach that point and no matter what you are confronting, even if your intentions are good, your wisdom is worthless at the point of losing your temper. It destroys much good! So, today, my prayer is that God would quiet me and help me to know at what point to speak and may I be able to speak softly but with the boldness he puts in me for His truth and Name sake!

New Life...

2010-06-24T15:54:00.002-05:00

Some times, God has us slow down. He has us at a place where we can stop and think. Today's been that day for me. I picked this picture because it really goes with what's been on my mind. This plant (in my flower bed) before blooming, looked much like a weed. Just kind of there. But when it bloomed, it was vibrant and beautiful. Some times, I think people are that way. You look at them and you think "how could God ever use them? what would be the plan for them? Why would he ask us to minister to that person?" But what we don't see... with a little bit of care and a little bit of nurture, what's inside is breath taking and gorgeous. I think of Isaiah 61. It's the call on our lives (Jeff & I). I fumble some times on the call and I think we are crazy... but it's true. It's where we are. In Isaiah 61, you read about a call. A call to reach the unloved, the poor, the broken of heart... The ones that most don't see any worth in. In vs. 4... I'm always caught with this "They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated." yep, the ones that most look at as a weed, God has a plan for. May I always remember when I look at some one, much like this flower... it may look like a weed, but inside... there could be something amazing just waiting to be nurtured and bloomed into something beautiful!

We have a new family member!!!

2010-05-31T07:33:00.003-05:00

Our Neice and Nephew (Steven & Kristyn) had there sweet baby last night at 11:19 a.m. She weighed 6 lbs. 6 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long. We can't wait to go in and love on her today. Joey woke up this morning crying "I don't want to be home! I want to see the baby!" The kids are so excited for a new little one! :) They love their babies! That's for sure!!! At this point, we still know her as Baby Pfohl. Mommy and daddy are leaning towards a name, but no decisions yet that I know of! We love you sweet baby Pfohl!!!

The Pfohl happenings...

2010-05-10T22:24:00.002-05:00

Sissy's Zinnia's have made it from the little cups in the house to the ground around our front tree!
We adopted Keym's fishies Kitty & Fido before they moved to California.

Joey's Morning glories have made their way to the fence line out back.

Sisters proud flower pot out front! We love spring at the pfohl house!

Hanging in the bean bag church in the ffc youth room. :) The kids think it's AWESOME!

Spring flowers 2...

2010-04-02T07:53:00.004-05:00

We are continuing to watch out little flowers grow!!! They are starting to really come up now! The kids are so excited that they can hardly stand it!!!! Cracks me up! We will continue to post as they grow!!!

We had some time outside yesterday. The kids AND the dog are lovin this weather!!! It's perfect! I wish this could be the year round temperature!!!! It's been lots of fun to get to be out of the house again!!!! They are sitting on the sand box in this picture... umm... I'm not sure this the proper use! Ha! :)

Spring flowers!!!

2010-03-29T15:20:00.002-05:00

whelp, the kids and I have started getting read for spring! Joey has planted cantaloupe in his pot, Abby has planted Egg plant in hers. The big pots have Chinese lanterns in them for mommy and then the little cups have Morning glories for Joey (They are blue of course!) and sisters have Zinnias. They can't wait to watch them grow and then plant them outside.

New Additions...

2010-03-20T14:18:00.000-05:00

meet Buddy! The kids named him and we fell in love right away! He's our newest family member! We adopted him today. He is a 9 month old beagle/dauchsand mix. He is snuggly and so lovelable!!! Welcome home little guy! :)

Life changing...

2010-03-03T18:53:00.003-05:00

Working in the pantry is life changing. Jeff and I have always felt God has called us to love what most consider the unlovable. Isaiah 61:1 has always been a verse of passion for me. "The Spririt of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor." The folks coming into the pantry need GOOD NEWS! The Good news is... God loves them just like He loves every single person of any race, any gender, and any social status.

Jeff was at the pantry today. A gentleman came in early with his wife and asked Jeff if he could speak with him. While talking, he asked Jeff if the people of our church were loving. As the story unfolded, he doesn't have nice clothes, he doesn't have acceptance and has been hurt by those in the church who couldn't love him as he is. He doesn't have a social status that most would consider important. He teared up when Jeff told him he could come to church just like he's dressed and there would be people who would love him. Then... Jeff stood and hugged him... the man broke. No preaching took place. Just talking and a hug... and GOOD NEWS was given! God loves this man equally the same as you and I. We need to love this man equally the same. The Good news is... there is a hope and a future for every single person. Whether they are the poorest or the richest.... the good news is... they are loved by one awesome and amazing God!

Tonight...

2010-03-02T22:02:00.003-05:00

Well, our food pantry was open tonight. It was so awesome to get to be a part of it. we are getting to know so many of the families that come through and it is just awesome!

Coming up on the 8th, we are going to be having a woman's community group meeting. During this meeting, I am going to be teaching some of the budget saving cooking skills that I have learned. Today, I made stock from bones and veggies! :) I also made home made Cream of chicken soup. I'm planning on using that to make a chicken pot pie with the pie crusts we'll be making that night. All of it comes from stuff near every one has in the pantry or inexpensive items you can put in your pantry easily that will last a LONG time! So... I'm really geared up and excited about this upcoming time with folks!

whelp, I must get to bed! Night all!

Amazing times...

2010-03-02T08:02:00.002-05:00

Well, 8 of us got together last night and met concerning the vision for our community. It was awesome to talk with like minded people and cast vision for what we want to see come!!!

We are going to be planting a community garden at the church!!! Hurray!!! However, this next month (April), some one is coming who will be talking with our people about how to start a garden at home, be it they own and plant a garden or start it in a bucket in their apartment!

I have to confess, I am excited because I want to learn more about it! I KILL every thing I touch! Ha! So, my little note pad will be written on as quickly as possible! I'm looking forward also to learning to can this year along side of every one! :) It's going to be great!

It's just awesome to be able to have these opportunities and to be building relationships. Jesus discipled his disciples by being in relationship... doing it all side by side... so... God, we invite you to be in our midst!!!

Blog name...

2010-02-25T12:31:00.003-05:00

Well, I have changed the name of my blog. I haven't been blogging much because my heart has just been at a place of totally searching after God. Trying to find me in the madness of what life some times throws at us. I think I found myself. :)

Lately, we have been really pushing into God. Seems so many times there are distractions around us. Health, turmoil in relationships, struggles in our work, battles in our lives (not just us... every one) and our hearts get distracted. I call my blog now "By The River" because that's how I want to spend my life. In God's holy presence. I long for more of him in my life. I don't know where this life will lead us... I don't have the whole picture, but I know one thing for sure... I want my life to be a reflection of who HE is and finding that reflection means SPENDING A LOT of time with Him. So, I am there. Hungering and searching and watching and waiting on Him! Each moment... may it be for you God! May my time by the River reflect you... may I no longer be seen but you in me be what people see!!

so much fun!!!!

2010-02-15T22:19:00.003-05:00

Sis started taking Cheer in January. Joey was really excited about all the jumping and hollaring... so, he's in Cheer with sister too! He's the smallest in there, So the girls are learning to LIFT Joey! It was too cute to watch! He was so excited when they got him in the air! It's been fun to watch them every week! I can't wait until they have their little recital and we get to see it all put together in one piece!!!

Another week has passed....

2010-02-02T14:05:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been an exciting week at the food pantry and it's time for a new one to begin! The food pantry is open tomorrow (wed) from 12-2 p.m. and Thurs from 5-7 p.m. Here are the daily Bible verses that we are going to be sharing with folks to read over the next week. Please take a minute each day to read them with us and pray that God will open up the peoples hearts and minds... Never know... God may even speak greatly to you and me as we pray together for these scriptures to draw lives to him!

Daily Bible Versus

This week, as you read these Bible viruses, our prayer is that you will be filled with the understanding and truth of God’s awesome and amazing compassion. God’s love, (What we read about last week) is fueled with his awesome compassion for us. There is nothing that could keep him from desiring to be near you!

Day 1:
Psalm 51:1 ”Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”

Day 2:
Psalm 86:15 “But you, O Lord are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”

Day 3:
Psalm 103:2-4 “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your disease, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”

Day 4:
Psalm 103:13 “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;”

Day 5:
Psalm 116:5 “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion,”

Day 6:
Psalm 119:77 “Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.”

Day 7:
Psalm 119:156 “Your compassion is great, O Lord; preserve my life according to your laws.”

I was with Jesus...

2010-02-01T21:09:00.002-05:00

Well, tonight, we did our noodle night. Two ladies showed up. They offered to come another time so we didn't have to "Spend our time" on two. My sis and I were there. We said to come on in and we learned to make noodles together! we talked, we laughed, we shared stories, we talked about God's provision (Casual, not planned... just came up) and it was AMAZING!!! We had so much fun. They learned to make these noodles from scratch. Neither knew how. But, that isn't all that happened! As my title of this entry said "I was with Jesus." This wasn't a class. This wasn't me just teaching and them just learning. This was seeing Jesus. Experiencing him in our lives. These women came in unsure, and they left full of joy. It wasn't about me. It wasn't that I'm something special. it was me just being who I am and God working through it in the midst.

What's more? They left hungry to come back! They can't wait for the next get together. They even want to start volunteering. That means plugging in and getting to know each other more which means getting to know Jesus more! It's a step closer. This is real kingdom work. Not doctrinal lessons, no one preaching/teaching, no one saying the best prayer... but instead... putting our hands to some flour and eggs and sharing our lives together.

So many times, I think we get caught up in impressing people and we miss it! We think we have to be overly spiritual. Look right. Say it right. Have a plan. But instead, if we could just live out our lives and let them see the light of Christ in us... the ministry happens on its own and they want more! They want to come back. This wasn't about me or my sister... this was about them experiencing the joy of relationship... life with Christ is a relationship and when you experience a healthy wholesome relationship... it leaves you wanting more!

My prayer is, when they eat those noodles with their family tomorrow night, they will relive with their family what they experienced tonight. They will share with their friends and next month, when we get together, they will come back and more will follow, hungry to be with Jesus.

I love being with Jesus...

A night of noodles...

2010-01-31T19:24:00.003-05:00

Well, tomorrow night kicks off something very exciting! We are going to have a cooking class at the church! I'm really excited about this. IT will begin even stronger relationships with those that come into the food pantry and will enable us to help them even more! So, we are going to teach them how to make home made noodles utilizing a bag of flour and the farm fresh eggs that they get from the food pantry! So... I'm VERY excited! I'm looking forward to this! Our prayer is that it will deepen the relationships and begin to open doors to help them learn budget helping tips and even lead to doing a budgeting class. I'm just excited at the direction things are going and the way things are moving!!! :)

Just amazing!!!

2010-01-27T12:16:00.001-05:00

So, today, Jack, Vicki and Myself teamed up to put out the 900 food pantry items that were donated by our local elementary students! We are excited! our shelves are STUFFED and our back stock is STUFFED!!! We went into this ministry praying and trusting God that we'd be able to serve our community and he has provided! Thank you God!!! You are amazing!!!!

A growing ministry...

2010-01-26T20:04:00.002-05:00

This week, we are kicking off something new in our food pantry ministry at our church. We are going to lay out a sheet for every person to be able to take that has a scripture verse on it for each day for them to read and meditate on. This week, Please read with us and pray for those reading it that they will feel God's love in a new and fresh way through it!

Here is what we are sharing with our community this week:

God’s Love…
No matter where you are in life, God’s love is perfect and blameless and there for YOU! So, join us this week! Each day, read the Bible verse listed and pray that God will speak to your heart through it. May you feel his love in a real way this week!

Wednesday:
Psalm 36:7 “How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.”

Thursday:
Romans 8:38,39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Friday:
Psalm 44:26 “Rise up and help us; redeem us because of your unfailing love.”

Saturday:
Psalm 51:1 “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”

Sunday:
Psalm 48:9 “Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love.”

Monday:
Psalm 57:10 “For great is your love, reaches to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.”

Tuesday:
Psalm 63:3 “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.”

My heart verses for today...

2010-01-17T11:05:00.003-05:00

Jeremiah 10:23

I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own;

it is not for a man to direct his steps,

Jeremiah11:4

...Obey me and do every thing I command you,

and you will my people and I will be your God.

It's a good reminder that my life isn't my own. I'm not here for me or for my own desires... I'm here for a purpose. Also, wonderful to know that if I just obey Him, I have belonging... I have purpose... I have an Amazing God who is mine!

New look...

2010-01-16T20:13:00.002-05:00

Well, I haven't blogged in awhile... so I will tonight. I went with a new look today. the look on my face is that of hating having my picture taken! LOL! I got my hair cut and then colored it at home. Went with Black this time. I think I like it....

uh oh!!!

2010-01-04T18:42:00.001-05:00

A close friend of the family got abby a colored lip gloss case for Christmas. Well, she keeps it in her "secret" place so bubby can't find it... he came out not only with his lips done... but his cheeks as well. He found the secret place! little stinker!!!!

It's Christmas!!!

2009-12-18T21:13:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow, we are having our Homeschool Christmas party with the grandparents! The kids are all excited! They help make setting cards tonight. Tomorrow they will decorate cakes. We have chosen to do individual little cakes for each person because we are wanting to also remember that Christ came during this season individually for each of us! So... they will be hard at work in the morning! :) We are having bread bowels with ham and cheese soup for lunch! Mmm!!!! All going to be a great time! The kids have practiced hard on a little program for them as well! Can't wait! :)

Ho ho ho!!!!

2009-12-17T09:33:00.002-05:00

We are off to the Winchester library today for a Christmas party with Santa! We made our little peanut butter sandwiches this morning to share! The kids are REALLY excited! I appreciate all the activities that the Winchester library offers. I am not sure I have ever seen a library do so well with activities for kids1 I love it!!

We did have a tricky spot last night. Miss Abby says to us "So, i didn't tell santa what I want for Christmas, so that means santa won't know what to bring. Does he really bring stuff?" Ug! She's a smart little cookie. So we explained the fun of santa and she said "I'm glad to know the truth!" I don' tknow what to do with her! Stinker butt! Anyways, she is still very excited about Santa and I think a bit releaved that he doesn't come to our house. She's looking forward to giving him a GREAT BIG hug today! :)

Have a great day every one!!!

Fun day...

2009-12-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

Well, we have eased up on the books and have focused in on a lot of Christmas activities, learning to cook, etc etc... we are actually ahead of schedule on school work... so this is a perfect time to work on the fun Christmas stuff! The kids have been having a blast with it! We made some surprise gifts tonight to give the grandparents for our homeschooling Christmas "program" this weekend. The kids were ecstatic about it! They crack me up! I love watching them work. Today, we continued our fun with a treat of a little party at the chocolate moose! The kids had a ball! This is their picture above from while we were there. I think those are happy faces!! :) Have a great night every one!

so excited!!!!!

2009-12-11T08:35:00.001-05:00

My lil man became a big boy today!!!! He has done it! He acheaved going pee pee in the potty today!!! He was so excited! When he started going his eyes got huge and he yells "I did it! It came out!" He was so proud! We had a big celebration and called every one in the family!!! Way to go little man! Way to go!!!!! Now, we are OFFICIALLY potty training!!

The snow finally came!

2009-12-08T06:54:00.002-05:00

Well, it is feeling a bit more like December... FINALLY! The kids were beside themselves when they got up yesterday and seen that it had snowed outside! Abby has been so wanting it to snow. She told me the other night, "It's just not fair. If it's going to be too cold to play outside than we should at least get some snow so we can have something to play in when we do get to go out!" She cracks me up!

The kids are doing really good in school. Abby is getting closer and closer to reading small words every day! I can't believe it! They do things so young these days! Joey is really starting to get into his little preschool activity sheets. He's so funny watching him process and work through it all!

On the 19th, they will be doing a little Christmas program for the grandparents. They are getting VERY excited about it! I can't wait to watch them go at it. :) We will be sure to video it and share!

This week is posing to be busy! We are excited for the holidays! The kids have tumbling on Thursday and then right after have a Christmas party to go to. Sunday, we are hoping to take the kids to the Christmas party at the skating rink in Winchester. Santa is going to be there with a treat for all the kids!! Abby is counting the moments till she gets to go!

Have a great day every one!

Our wee lil tree...

2009-12-04T12:05:00.002-05:00

Family picture with the tree.

Carmel investigating the tree coming home...

Unwrapping the tree...

Puttin the angel on...

The proud finished procuct....

wee bit behind...

2009-12-03T21:29:00.002-05:00

So, this is from halloween... we are running behind! Ha ha! Couldn't find my cord to my camera. So, now I have my pics on the computer! Abby was sully from Monsters Inc and Joey was a cow. :) They were adorable! Certainly fun to get to be out having a blast and meeting up with some of our neighbors!

got a question...

2009-12-03T09:57:00.002-05:00

So, I feel God leading me to start a mothers group in our town. This won't be associated with any church or church function, but instead, just a complete outreach in our community. I have some ideas about what I want it to look like, things I feel God has laid on my heart... but I don't know yet what it really is going to look like...

So... if you are a young mother, or once was a young mother... what would minister to you? What would be helpful to you?

You can post here or e-mail me at mommypfohl@gmail.com

So... there it is... your turn!

Merry Christmas... It's coming!!!!

2009-12-02T08:23:00.002-05:00

Well, we went yesterday and got our Christmas tree at Sickels tree farm! The kids had a blast. Abby was jumping up and down as they put the tree in our van! Cracked me up! The kids were so excited to get home and decorate it.

Carmel even found himself excited! He has climbed the tree three times now. I just pray that he doesn't knock it down! I had forgotten what it was to have a cat and a tree in the same house!

Abby is 5...

2009-11-30T07:41:00.002-05:00

Well, Miss Abby had a totally awesome birthday! She really enjoyed being with family and having some friends come for her birthday party!

It was so cute, last night, as I was tucking her into bed she says, "Mommy, I need some time to talk." so, I sat down with her to listen. She says, "I have been doing some thinking. I am five now mommy, that makes me pretty old. I think I can go out to play by myself now and I can take bubby with me. you'll have to remind him that i am in charge. He is three and I'm five so that makes me big enough." Cracked me up!!! I didn't know 5 meant you were a grown up adult! hA!

Have a great day every one! Back to routine for us! Thanksgiving and birthday is over! :)

It's birthday time!!!

2009-11-27T23:12:00.003-05:00

This is Abby's birthday cake for her 5th birthday. This was a bit comical to be honest! I made the cake with farm fresh eggs. The cake didn't bind like I needed it too! The frosting was falling off and then the cake split. It was to be 3 layers but the first layer split into like 8 different pieces! Not cool! However, this was the finishing product. Not my best but it's totally piped. None of the frosting was spread! So, now I pray that when I get up in the morning... the frosting has set and is ON the cake... not the tray!

Miss Abby really wanted a castle, but with the miss hap's we had... I'm hoping a walk in the clouds for Cinderella and her prince will be enough to bring a smile!

Music man...

2009-11-27T20:07:00.001-05:00

Joey is my lil music man! I was folding laundry on the living room floor the other morning and he sang me songs and played as best as he could for me! Such a beautiful sound!!!

Raggid...

2009-11-18T21:44:00.003-05:00

Running raggid is my life right now. I tell you, I'm wiped out! But, holding my head high and moving forward thanking God for the family I have!!

So, here is a run down...

Monday, Joey had Speech... he was doing awesome! She works so well with him.
He followed this up with Physical therapy. Man, he was a ham. Last few times he's had real low energy... um he made up for lost work! He was a fire ball hard to catch! ha!

Sis also saw the eye doc! Very exciting news there! She is growing out of her glasses! They took her script down a notch this time!! Yippy!!!

Tuesday: she ordered her glasses! Little pink frames! So cute! They look like little granny glasses but we won't tell her! LOL!

Today... Both kids had their physicals. He felt Joey was doing good but saw the regression in Abby. He sees them every 3-4 mths. just to keep up and check on their growth etc.

Abby had her occupational therapy session today to decide if she's elidgable for therapy. It was a yes hands down. her strength is poor and he said that her clumbsiness comes from not having a real idea of her body control. She is just all over the place. So, much they are going to work on.

Joey had his Therapy with OT today. He did great for her. He was so cute! They are working with getting him to accept different textures in his mouth. He hates pudding. She got just a tad on his tongue. He threw his little arms up and exclaimed "Hey, I like that!" Oh man, we were all laughing so hard! Little stinker!

Jeff is still holding on. his physical abilities have really changed. It's been hard on all of us but the hardest on him I think. We don't know much more than that yet. So please continue to pray for wisdom! Thanks all! ~Mindy

the rest of our appointments...

2009-11-12T21:35:00.001-05:00

Well, the kids had their appointment today with an Occupational therapist (OT). It went fairly well.

She had a lot of good ideas and things for us to work with here at home. She had a lot of good input on helping Joey with his hand control.

She said that the majority of the issue is strength. We can do all kinds of things with them but until we get his strength up, the coordination will never come easy.

she Worked with Abby for a good long while today. It was a real eye opener how weak she is. She told us that much of what she does is simply her compensating or covering up her weakness. So... she took those away and pushed her to do things correctly. Broke my heart to realize that she really does have a lot of weakness there and her endurance is little to nothing.

Needless to say, she had the recomendation to start Abby in therapy services here locally. So, we will be.

Thanks for the prayers! hugs to all of you!

Reluctant...

2009-11-11T20:56:00.002-05:00

It's been a week since I have written here... I think for one, I have more on my plate than I know how to manage right now... but also, I'm just reluctant to share. I don't think it's because of any specific reason except for... I don't know how to swallow life right now so it's hard to put it in writing extensively.

There is still this part of me that hopes I will wake up tomorrow and realize this isn't life but instead, it simply me living out a bad dream. But, that bad dream is here and not so easy to take right now... so push forward. One DAY at a time. Some times second by second.

Jeff had his testing done Tuesday. Started with a NCS followed by an EMG (first is nerve conduction, second is muscle). This wasn't the most pleasant test, but he survived. The doctor told him he was a super good patient! He had an MRI of his head done, also an EEG (looking for seizures) and finally, blood work. He was pretty wiped out to say the least.

We came straight onto Cincinnati from there. I'm struggling with being exhausted just because of doing all the driving and care, etc., so staying the night Tuesday and Wednesday was our only option with all the running we've been doing.

Sis had a pulmonary appointment today. We have been concerned in seeing a lot of shortness of breath in her. The Doctor spent a lot of time listening, asking questions, etc. The final point of the exam came down to the fact that Abby's shortness of breath is not related to her asthma as we had been lead to believe, but instead, it is an issue of muscle weakness. This was truly disappointing to hear! They are moving forward with a sleep study. She has a history of hypo ventilation. This is something that happens when you can't make the exchange of air and clear out all the stuff when you exhale. She wants to ensure this hasn't worsen as this is also because of weak muscles. She isn't changing the asthma meds until after the study. She did, however increase her allergy med to make sure that is covering our base line. And, is starting Abby on cortisone to treat her eczema.

I spoke with the surgeon today through the dentist office. They are backed up on surgeries. Joey was not specified as an emergency case, so they are putting him on the waiting list. Probably be after the first of the year before anything is done there. OK by me! The longer the better since he had surgery in September.

Tomorrow, we go to see an Occupational therapist at Cincinnati. She is going to be working individually with the kids. This will allow her time to see what they are capable of and what they are lagging behind in. One thing she will be working towards and looking at is to make sure we don't need any adaptive equipment right now. The Physical therapist who worked with us on the wheel chairs really thought this exam would be beneficial. So, we are walking it out.

I'm sorry if this is all overwhelming. This is why I don't want to blog or update in detail. I find it over whelming and seems there is something EVERY day right now. I do thank you for your prayers. Calls, emails and texts are meaning so much right now. I especially am a social person... so I feel like I'm in this lonely little box and those are areas that bless me and keep me moving forward! So, thank you to those who have been in touch!

Night all!

Here I am...

2009-11-05T12:05:00.004-05:00

God I sit here broken... take my life and let it be yours... May I be able to live to give you glory... May you be my strength... Show your self strong in me papa! Amen

another round...

2009-11-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

Hey All!

Thanks for the continued prayers. I can't remember if I updated, but Joey is going to be having another surgery due to his dental issues. He's going to be admitted after because of anesthesia problems. Life is a blur for me right now so If that is repetative... i'm sorry!

Sissy is having some issues of zoning out on us, occasional confusion, etc. So, she will be seeing Nuero. Genetics is thinking an MRI needs to be done. I will call tomorrow to get the ball rolling.

Jeff saw his nuero today. They are at a loss at this time. They tested Jeff's memory today and found it to be not so good. So much so, The doctor called me in to explain the process of things so that we can be on the same page with medical care. At this point, Jeff's muscle "appeared" normal on exam. This doesn't present any foundation in either direction. At this point, they are going to move forward with ENG which is a nerve/muscle test. This will show them how the muscle reacts. Following that, we will go over for an MRI of his brain. He has been having more frequent migraines so much so to the point they are making him loose his peripheral vision. He has had these since he was in his 20's but have worsened. This will give them a good eye on what's going on neurologically. They are then going to do an EEG. They are concerned about seizures. You can have seizures that no one can see that can cause the memory loss, etc. So, they are taking all into consideration. on top of that, they are doing some blood work. Looking for some deficiencies, etc. After speaking with me about the kids, he began to take this a bit more serious and realized that this isn't something simple. We don't know what it is, but it is more complex than he bargained for. So... we start here and move forward. He said this presents a big challenge but we will get to the bottom of it.

Thank you for those who have been sending encouragement. We are all exhausted and spent right now.

--
~Mindy Pfohl~

Getting ready...

2009-11-01T09:58:00.002-05:00

Well, tomorrow is a big day for us in Cincinnati. The kids have three appointments. They start early. So, we have decided to leave today. Jeff has found that driving exhausts him. When we have Early morning appointments, in the past we have literally had to switch off and on to get there with cat naps. I don't do well with mornings because my kids don't sleep well at night. Some times due to pain, some times due to restlessness, and some times do to reasons I have no idea about. So... with all this being said, I'm learning I have to say when I have hit my limit. I can't make the drive safely tomorrow. So, we called up our old faithful $35 a night motel and we are crashing there tonight. It will be late tomorrow when we get home. So, I think this is for the best for every one. Jeff and the kids can rest after the drive there before the long day of appointments. Please pray for us tomorrow! Thanks! ~Mindy

Lil man...

2009-10-31T08:32:00.001-05:00

My lil man went to my parents last pampered chef show that they did. My sister was hosting. :) He stoll pappaw's chefs hat and was sporting it well! :) I thought he was adorable! Ha! :) Have a great day every one! ~Mindy

Retry... results of the day...

2009-10-30T19:26:00.002-05:00

The last blog entry, I deleted. I want to try again at explaining today. I have had some food so now I'm feeling a bit more intelligent! Ha!

Ok, what is going on...

Nuero explained that we all have one type or another of muscle. Type one burns oxygen. This is what most ofus have. Type two burns glucose. Joey has type one muscles. These muscles are broken down into three functioning parts. Each part is equally dispursed. Another words, they are 1/3 each. For Joseph, his are unequal. They explained it this way. We have white meat and dark meat. White meat is healthy and critical to our activity. Dark meat is unhealthy and burns oxygen off more quickly. Joseph has 70% dark meat and 30% white meat. It should be the other way around. So, for Joseph, walking is for him like running a marathon for us. He is burning oxygen from muscle faster than his body can keep up. So... there is where we are. Hope that makes sense. The last entry DID NOT! LOL! :) Night all.

Another road trip...

2009-10-29T21:07:00.002-05:00

We head to Cincinnati tomorrow. Joey has an appointment with Nuerology. Please pray for us. We may be finding out the diagnosis for the kids. I'm a basket case. Not sure I want to know what they are going to say.

Kids had to go to the ped today. Joey has fluid on both ears. Both congested more than ten days. Not bad but enough with their given history, he is treating them with amoxicilian. Our prayer is, that it kicks it! No flu! :) that's very exciting!

Well, night all! Long day ahead tomorrow!

Medical...

2009-10-28T11:34:00.002-05:00

Howdy! I'm working on putting some fund raisers together. We are going to need money for travel, medications, medical bills and expenses related to all the above. The kids have overnight stays coming up. Abby two for sure. So... life's getting a bit hairy for us again. It's ok though because God has always brought just enough! :)

We will be doing a sale up town on Nov. 13th for sure. I have had some volunteer donations already. We have lots of cookies, some brownies, noodles, and a cake coming for sure. A friend and I will be making buckeyes & chocolate covered pretzels.

If you would like to donate, please e-mail me at pfohl4@hotmail.com

I have noodles for sale right now. Making them as they are ordered. I have been selling them at $3 a dozen. I also do dumplings! :) So, you name it and it's yours!! Prices can be changed too... I just am trying not to come up short.

Also, if you have fund raising ideas further than this, let me know. I'm not good at this and have little experience... so... HELP ! :) I need someone with a good mind to figure it all out! LOL! Thanks all! Thanks for the prayers and those gathering around us. It's felt good to see who our true friends are and feel that love. Gives us much strength!

When life is too much part #2....

2009-10-28T06:22:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I'm not sure what I did last night with my blog entry. I updated on Jeff, but I didn't blog what I intended too. I spose that's a sign my brain is going 100 miles a minute in the wrong directions! ha!

What i intended to say is....

We have both feet totally over whelmed right now. Lots of fear as to what is causing this. Fear of what may be about to happen in our lives. We have so many emotions but at the same time, we have this odd peace... we KNOW that God is still there. We know that he's holding us and carrying us...

I told Jeff that there is a part of me that wants to get angry and say "Why me? Why my family, why my husband." I felt over whelmed before Jeff's illness arose and now I feel totally defeated... but every time those emotions start to arise, the question that God asked me a few months back about loving him even if God doesn't heal my kids arises... I suppose this is where the rubber meets the road. I don't know what is going to go on. I don't know where life is going to take us. But I do know this, If I love Him and I serve Him, It's ALL going to be ok. So... here I stand!

I will close with the scripture God gave me this morning:

Job 11:13-19

"Yet if you devote your heart to him and strecht out your hands to him,

if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

then you will lift up your face with out shame;

you will stand firm and without fear.

You will surely forget your trouble,

recalling it only as waters gone by.

Life will be brighter than noonday,

and darkness will become like morning.

You will be secure,

because there is hope;

you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

You will lie down,

with no one to make you afraid,

and many will court your favor."

Thank you God for the promise of hope! We stand in awe of who you are and we say, here is our lives... use them as your will be done!!!!

when life seems like too much...

2009-10-27T20:55:00.002-05:00

Well, things continue about the same. Some areas for Jeff are improving, other areas are getting worse. We both have a lot of emotions we are walking through. Jeff is finding that his energy is zapped quickly. For instance, he went to the doc and ate lunch with my parents. He had to leave the resturaunt to go lay down in the van for pain and the fatigue. The kids are feeling the emotions too. They see very clearly that daddy has changed.

Jeff went to see our family doctor today. He agreed that Jeff needed a nuerologist. So, he is putting a very detailed referral in. He said normally he just does the referral and leaves it to the nuero to figure out, but he went further with our situation. He told them the kids history, etc. So, we appreciate that.

They didn't know much what to do for Jeff. They are trying some meds for restless legs. Jeff's legs are jerking involuntarily. we don't know at all that this will work. Kind of a shot in the dark to provide some relief until we can go to the nuero. Also, they put him on an old anti-depressant that has been used to help with nerve pain. Again, shot in the dark but if it helps with the pain, it's well worth it for him. He needs some good sleep. The pain is an issue with waking him in the night.

The kids are doing ok. both having trouble with sinus stuff.

Have a good night all!

Family update....

2009-10-27T07:47:00.001-05:00

Hey All! for those who are not caring bridge readers... here's the latest in the Pfohl house hold.

Joey: Joey had therapy yesterday. Speech went fairly well. I think she was excited to see how much Joey is starting to talk more. However, physical therapy was a challenge. Joey had a total melt down during it. The PT & I both felt it was exhaustion. She was so sweet. She called to check on Joey last night and apologize she didn't see the ques. I didn't either. I really just thought he was being stubborn but He fell asleep and then told me later he was just too tired. So, we have decided to move his schedule around. we'll be going three different days now instead of all in one. Joey's congestion is lingering so... please pray for that to go away so it doesn't turn into any thing.

Abby: Missy Lou is doing ok. She's having some emotional issues right now. We think a lot of it is she knows something is up with daddy but she doesn't understand it. Her face is swollen and puffy this morning. We are just keeping an eye on her at this point.

Jeff: Jeff is still having lots of issues right now. his pain is up and regular ibuprofien isn't really helping. He goes to our PCP today to see about getting something that might help especially at night. He's waking from the pain. His legs are also jerking periodically. So... just not sure over all. We are going to be seeing a nuero in Richmond, IN. So, we will see how that goes

Very tired...

2009-10-24T23:03:00.001-05:00

Was going to blog tonight... but finding myself at a loss and just really tired. Things remain about the same here today. Jeff's a bit better if he does not push himself to do too much. He pushes, he starts to feel worse. In God's time and God's way, we'll figure this all out... night.

2009-10-23T20:21:00.001-05:00

We had Jeff to the ER tonight. About 6 months ago, he started feeling more and more run down. Just very tired. We both just thought it was between ministry at the church and the things going on with the kids that had him more tired. However, it has progressed. he was sick about 3 weeks ago with a really bad cold. Knocked him out for two days. After this, he started feeling as though his body was just heavy and he was exhausted all the time with VERY LITTLE endurance. We thought maybe it was the virus hanging on... but he progressed again. about a week ago, he started having tingling in his legs from his hips to his feet. Today, he started having pain in his thighs. The pain he described is that he feels like he's just run like crazy on a treadmill and pushed his muscles too far. He is fine laying down, but any standing or walking, it progressively gets worse. Also, doing anything makes him sleep. Going to the grocery today wiped him out to the point of needing a long nap.

We spoke with the kids genetics doctor a week ago. It raised concern. This after noon
i spoke with the kids genetic doc over the phone. He wanted a CPK level checked. From what I understand, this will show them the break down of the muscle. The kids has always been normal but they check it to be safe with anything odd. Jeff had normal levels. So, we are fine for now. They are going to get Jeff into a Nuero to ensure that every thing is alright and begin diagnostic testing on him.

Likely, what the kids are dealing with is what jeff has. There has been confirmed Muscular sclerosis in his family now. His mom and sister are both having issues. So, no surprise but not easy to swallow. Jeff does not have insurance that will cover any of this. His health and my own prevent us from having good insurance. So... Please pray that the nuero will take us and do the testing and that we'll be able to cover the expenses.

Your prayers are priceless and we are so thankful!

~Mindy Pfohl~

Daily transformed...

2009-10-22T11:12:00.003-05:00

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Our life right now is totally filled with things that are hard to accept. Health issues are the number one problem in our house hold. Watching people you love suffer is so hard. My soul searching stems right now from feeling like I have hit a road block in my walk with God. Life is hard. Life hurts. Life brings joys. Life brings about celebration. Life brings questions... my question right now is what is holding me back from God.

I'm not angry about the kids health. I have come to terms with the fact that God has made them. They are fearfully and wonderfully made and He has their days numbered. He has a plan for them, a future and a hope! His word promises that.... but still... the raw emotions are there. I don't know if feelings ever go away...

I some times bary myself and cover my pain with the food I put in my mouth. I often forget to go to God and instead I go get something that tastes good... I didn't realize it until today... this is my road block. This is what I put before God, therefore separating myself from His love and His presence. A pointless issue that does nothing but turn my own health in a negative direction is what is holding me back. That means I have made my food a god. A false god. A god that hurts me. A god who can't love me... But the God who does love me is there but by choice, I have pushed Him a way by choosing my worthless god... food.

This morning, I was reading in Isaiah. 51:1 says "Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness and who seek the Lord. Look to the rock from which you were cut and the to quarry from which you were hewn:" I was cut from God hiimself. Made in his likeness. all I have to do is look to Him. He is the answer and because I was "cut" from Him, He holds every thing I need. He holds me. I feel as though my strength is gone. I have feel as though I can't put the next foot forward but I can because HE IS my ROCK!!! MINE! He's there... This passage goes on in vs. 3 saying, "...Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing." My I find myself in him... May I look to him so that sound of sining and thanksgiving will pour from my heart. May every one see joy and gladness in me.

What's your road block?

How we start our morning....

2009-10-21T08:52:00.003-05:00

Well, this is how we start our morning. 5 suringes of meds... two inhalers, a nose spray and vitamins... So, exciting! I always dread morning for this and then I am ready to go when we are all done. We do this again at bedtime and then take a few periodically through the day... so... we belly up to the morning meds each day...

Painting the rooms...

2009-10-20T19:23:00.003-05:00

Well, we have started painting. The kids are ecstatic!!! Miss Abby has wanted a pink room since we left Muncie three years ago. We have wanted to give her that... but we've been renters... now we can give her that. I was going to go with a very pale pink... more like a pastel. However, she wanted a bright vibrant color. I started to say no. Then I started thinking about things and realized, she doesn't have a lot of control and say in what she gets to do. So, I decided the decision was hers... Daddy is putting it on the wall. I figure in a year, when she's sick of it, a can of primer and a different color isn't too much for making her happy right now... so... it has begun. The pink walls are arriving her little face has been lit up all day!

As for me... my body aches! I've been working hard to get ready for winter and settle in a little deeper here at home. So... I rearranged bub's room first. His room is on the wall that faces the open field behind our house. That means that his wall gets a bit chilly. We moved his bed. Cleaned up toys, organized his closet. He has a huge closet so the wheel chairs will fit in there nicely now and can come out of the van for when we aren't on a long trip. Yippee!! I love order! So very much love order!